Elitaís Corner

Volume 3

April 2005

My Three Grandsons

When little nine and a half year old Brock brought home his report card. Mom said "how come you got several Bís instead of the usual all Aís?" Well he said "many others did not get that many Bís. They got Cís., so I am doing good." This is illustrative of how many people feel about their ballroom dancing skills. They figure that they see so many others hardly doing the level of their level so they are doing great. However, trying to attain a higher level is an even greater achievement.  

There is a couple dancing when we are dancing on Sundays (when our feet and shoulders were not injured as we had happened to us way back in December) and their names are Paula and Martin. Paula and Martin think they are very good dancers and they get up and dance their style and they think they are wonderful dancers. However, the only training they have had is going to about six yearly dance camp vacations.There they spend the weekend and learning in a group atmosphere.They watch alot and try to imitate what they see and feel that they have extra special training moments. They have trained their minds to feel good about themselves and then they come back and dance for all to see their achievements.They feel in their hearts that they are excellent at what they do and Cís are O.K. because so many others are not ( in their opinion) doing as well as they are.

This is a good attitude in a sense because at least they are dancing, they are not promoting thoughts in their minds that they are inadequate.They feel elated in what they have accomplished and so they enjoy their dancing hobby more than folks who do not feel that competent. Paula and Martin are really not that competent in what they do but they see themselves better than what they really are. This can be a positive thing because at least they are accomplishing having fun and feeling good about dancing.This is a better feeling than many others that I know who sit many dances out because they think themselves under dance educated. A good idea is to shift your energy to a higher purpose and imagine yourself doing your thing in a higher level. Your mind eventually perceives this as attaining this goal and the more you practice this thought process in your mind, the more you will feel better about yourself.This leads to the confidence of Paula and Martin and encourages your feet and mind to get out there and do whatever you do. Even if your level is not as good as others, you have had at least the motion, the movement,the courage and the emotion to continue your dancing. You feel good about yourself and you need not fill your mind with negative thoughts. Dancing becomes your friend and your friend gives you pleasure.

I know a woman who is about eighty-three years of age and though she does not dance anymore (they gave it up about ten years ago) she thinks that whatever she does is the greatest. She thinks herself better than her neighbors in the court she lives on.She thinks she is better looking, that her house is prettier on the inside and the outside, that her flowers along the walkway are more colorful, that she is the only one in the neighborhood who cooks from scratch and therefore she is the most special person she knows. Technically she is none of the above, she is very homely, her cooking is just fair and there are many houses on the block that are more attractive than hers and her flowers are not very colorful. I admire her "chutzpah" ( guts and gall) in her beliefs because her beliefs are solid gold in her mind and she works from that attitude in making her life very happy and content. 

Being content at this point in our lives is a very special thing and I admire contented people. People who are happy in their own skin and people who present themselves to others as happy people. We look at them and wonder sometimes where they get their chutzpah from. They get it from their sheer moments of inner peace and even though this peace originates from small pieces of special doings or moments or small accomplishments, they are happy and fulfilled and that is what it is all about in this moment of our lives whether we be seniors, not yet seniors or younger folks. It is good to strive for higher accomplishments but if we cannot attain them, then Bís equal Aís and as young Brock ( who is my grandson) said many others did not even get Bís like I did, they got Cís. Brock has a point there because he at nine years of age was content with his Bís and rightly so. Our energy should be directed to trying to attain higher heights but if we cannot reach those heights, than the height we have climbed is pretty darn good. 

Elita S.Clayman wife, mother, grandmother of Brock and Brandon (age 12) and the new grandson on the way making his debut in the middle of August. So Elita will be a grammie to three----- her MY THREE GRANDSONS (THERE WAS A TV SHOW MANY YEARS AGO CALLED MY THREE SONS WITH FRED MCMURRAY.) How many out there reading this column are grandparents?Email me at elita-jerry-dancing@erols.com

so we can compare the ages of our grandchildren who are lucky to have us as their dancing grandmas and grandfathers.

Elita S. Clayman

April 2005