Elita Sohmer Clayman
My dad many years ago, before I was born had some money. He
bought some stock with a name on it that appealed to him
emotionally. He let it sit in the safety deposit box and
when I married Jerry, he told Jerry he still had the paper
all these many years later. We checked it out and it had
changed names and through the years had multiplied and was
worth in the 1960’s about sixty thousand dollars. Dad had
probably paid about several hundred dollars for it because
he liked the name of the company.
So when it was finally cashed in about 1960, he had passed
away and Mom had some extra security that she had only
become aware of then. Names mean different things to various
people. Parents name their children a name that they like.
Many children do not like their given name and ask mom and
dad, why did you name me that?
I have an unusual first name and I disliked it until I was
eighteen. Then a magical thing occurred and all of a sudden
I loved it. I could call up on the phone and say this is
Elita, not even giving a last name. I could sign a register
at an office and say Elita and no last name. I vowed that I
would name my children regular names as I called them. So I
Jewish people name their newborns the name of a deceased
loved one. If you had a grandmother named Sarah and you had
a baby girl, you could name it Sarah or Sharon or
Sophie or Sally. The reason behind it was to have the
deceased finally rest in peace because they were remembered.
We also give the child a Hebrew name which was the
deceased’s name. For instance, Sarah in Hebrew would be Sura,
so the child is Sarah in English and Sura in Hebrew. The
Hebrew name is used for certain occasions like birth,
confirmation, marriage and death. Then the Hebrew name along
with the English name is recited etc.
Now days, the young folks will name their child Sura in
Hebrew but in English they will name her Ashley or Courtney
or Madeleine. They do not stick with the same initial as
they did in my time. So names change and customs change and
attitudes change. However, the meaning is the same, still
naming after a beloved and deceased person. You hope that
the new baby will be the same kind of person as was named
for, good, dear and smart. You would never name the child
after a relative or friend that you detested.
My mother’s brother and his wife had a baby girl and the day
before she was born, my uncle lost his sister. So the
daughter was named after the father’s sister who had died
the day before. Her name was Elizabeth and so the baby girl
became Elizabeth but they tacked on the name of a relative
who had lived to be ninety as the second name- Lois. The
reason being that the first Elizabeth, the sister had died
at an early age of thirty-eight and the new parents wanted
to insure that their Elizabeth lived the long life of the
second relative Lois.
When we ballroom dance, we learn the names of the dances.
Some of the dances have sweet names and other dances have
stronger names. The Paso Doble really sounds quite Spanish
and elicits the feeling in you that you are in Spain and you
are performing before the crowds and though there is no bull
there, one can conjure up the bull’s photo in their mind.
The Rumba signifies the romance of this Latin time and makes
one feel a bit sexy.
The Bolero sounds like a piece of clothing, but it is not.
The Bolero is a form of the Rumba and it also can be very
sexy. The Waltz is something that one thinks of as doing at
a wedding as a first dance. Ballroom dancers know that
waltzes are a really neat and a lovely dance to do
especially with someone you care about. The Swing makes one
feel young again especially if your age is seniordom. The
Cha Cha evokes memories of having fun and movement and
exercise. The Tango is known as a dance of love and
controlled movement and very theatrical. My husband and I
way back in the early eighties were advocates of the Hustle.
We would go to the Hustle night spots and dance all evening
non stop and only sitting down for a light dinner or a
drink. I wonder how we lasted dancing non stop though of
course we were forty years younger at that time.
Did you ever wonder if the dance steps in the Hustle had
been called the Waltz, how we would react to a dance called
that with the energetic steps of the Hustle? Suppose the Cha
Cha had been called the Foxtrot, how our bodies would be
moving at that pace. If the Foxtrot had been called the
Paso, would it have been as fiery?
So names evoke, stimulate, arouse and waken thoughts in our
minds and bodies. Girls with male names (which are somewhat
popular now) must have a hard time trying to be feminine.
Girls named Sydney stir up masculine thoughts in my mind. I
knew a man named Sydney in my working days and he was a wimp
and or a nerd. He was nice and polite but if I meet a girl
named Sydney, I see him. Of course, that is silly, but true.
have a wimpy name because the patients will react negatively
to him. A doctor I knew many years ago had a rhyming name.
His mom thought it funny to give him a name like
Terry Rerry. His name was called over the intercom at the
hospital, patients and medical personnel always smiled. He
was a great doctor but his name created fun and snickers.
Names can affect how we dress. If we have a masculine name
and we are female, perhaps we think of our self as not so
girly or womanly. If we have a meek name, we may appear in
our mind as meek when we really are strong. The same thing
happens when we dance. If our teacher, by chance says ‘today
you are really dancing like Ginger’ we all of a sudden
become Ginger and our shoulders react and our feet fall into
place and we float off and down the floor. If our teacher
says ‘today, you are really dancing like a wallflower’ then
we become that wallflower.
The cardiologist getting ready to examine my heart and lungs
and etc, said “come on over here beautiful.” At that moment
I became beautiful because he had said it. Of course, I am,
but so what? The significance of that remark fired into my
mind a minute of beauty. Even if I had not looked good that
day, I would have thought I looked good. All because a semi
stranger, a medical person who himself is quite good looking
said that word.
So names and words can beautify our lives whether we are
seniors, children, young adults or really elderly. Words
electrify and have been known to start wars. We should all
learn to use our vocabulary to instill sweetness, goodness,
happiness and joy. Whatever our given names are, we do not
have to like it but we can make it a word of happiness. My
firstborn’s middle name is Joy. That to us she has always
been. If her second name had been Faith or Hope, that she
would have been. If her name had been something other, I am
sure she would have still been Joy. So always remember that
someone’s name may evoke something in you and even if it is
not lovely, still look at the person as if their name was
Faith or Hope or Joy. Then it will be ours because we will
have in our heart-faith, hope, joy and goodness.
Keep on dancing and be Ginger and Fred and be filled with
the joy that dancing gives to us and always have faith that
we can continue dancing for many more years and hope that
they will be filled with good health. Goodness will be our
silent and loving and invisible name too. Joy will be ours
forever and ever because we have the faith and the eternal
Dancing is a name. It stands for movement, happiness,
feelings, thought, courage, showmanship, camaraderie,
belief, genius, desire, Dancing is a bridge between our
daily life and our special moments. When we dance, we are
almost someone else. We
are individuals who have the strength to triumph over a
sport that can be difficult at first and even afterwards. We
learn, we yearn, we turn, and we spurn the urge to quit at
difficult learning times. We embrace this adventure with
solid determination to become dancers and to enjoy every
moment that we journey into this quest.
Katherine Anne Porter said an adventure is something you
will to occur. We will do it because it will be momentous
hours in our life. Will is required and we are sustained by
the results. The results are our most glorious visions.
Elita Sohmer Clayman